Ready to Write

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)

It’s been an entire year since I retired from the practice of law. I’ve loved this time off. I’ve spent time with my dog and my husband and de-stressed. While a lot of what I’ve been “doing” is simply trying to “be”, I have also been doing quite a bit of “doing”. I’ve been reading, a lot. Especially lots of spiritual reading and anything related to A Course in Miracles. I’ve been studying the Course itself and practicing living its teachings. I’ve been exercising quite a bit too. Especially these last 15 weeks since my husband and I started doing P90X, which is amazing! Since last year, I’ve lost over thirty pounds and I feel really great (my goal is to lose another 50).

I’ve also been writing. I want to be a writer. There, I got that out. I want to write articles and books and blogs and journals, and well you get it. Actually what I really want to be is a thinner, happier, more peaceful me and a writer too. And I have been writing. I’ve been journaling and free writing (in the Natalie Goldberg tradition) and I started this blog several months ago. Unfortunately, I’ve only posted once and I have yet to have any writing that is ready to be seen by anyone else.

I started reading other blogs, but never commented. There are some really amazing blogs out there. Although the blogs were inspiring I ended up even more scared. What could I possibly have to say that would help anyone? What could I have to say that anyone else would even care about?

The problem is that I got scared. I got really terrified to put myself “out there”. What if no one read my blog? What if someone read it and hated it? What if I can’t lose the weight? What if I can’t write? I’m filled with so many doubts and so much resistance. The doubts and resistance have a way of taking over and when they do, I don’t move forward. I get stuck. I’ve been stuck since that first post all those weeks ago.

I don’t want to be stuck any more. What’s pushed me to get unstuck, right now with this post, is an excellent blog called Escape from Obesity. Lyn is amazing, inspiring, and is so in touch with her feelings. So much of what she says is pertinent in my life with my weight issues.

Lyn recently posted about another blogger - Bethany who suddenly died from a heart attack. In honor of Bethany, Lyn has graciously started The Bethany McDonald Memorial Blogroll for the personal weight loss and related blogging community. The number of people who have already asked to be included surprised me. There are so many people that want to honor Bethany and offer support and encouragement to each other. It is truly inspirational and is the kick in the pants I need to move forward.

After all, how could I possibly be scared of a community like that? I can’t. And in fact, I want to be a part of that community. And that is why I have joined Bethany’s blogroll and I have made this post and I am committing to myself that I am really going to post regularly, I am going to put my writing and my life out there. I have so much to say and share and learn. Look out blog world - hear I come!

Thank you Lyn. Thank you Bethany. Thank you to all of you who are joining Bethany’s blogroll. I look forward to getting to know you all. And I’d love to hear from you too, please let me know how blogging has changed your life.